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Letting Go

There are so very many things we spend time accumulating, cultivating, caring for and worrying about in our adult life. Our children, our parents, our jobs, our marriages, our favorite things... While we are spending all that time and energy on these relationships, we seldom stop to think that one day we will have to let them go.


It inevitably starts with our children...and admittedly, most of us are aware that the day will come when we have to see them off to college or to their own apartment or to live abroad for a semester. We spend so very much of our parenting lives trying just to keep these little beings alive and healthy, that it totally goes against our very souls to let them out into the wild and dangerous world. However, we know we must...But after that, comes more heartache, as then we must learn to allow them their very own decisions and all the errors of their ways as they travel life's road. We have to stand back and zip our lips as they choose to take jobs and go on trips and waste money and marry the wrong person and raise their children wrong and dress inappropriately and wear too much make-up (or not enough) and move to the wrong state....and on and on and on...


Then, we have to retire...that is a hard one I did not see coming! Who knew I would have such an emotional attachment to a job that made me crazy and wore me out to the degree it had over the years? It took me two full years to let go of that one...


Of course, our parents and grandparents are older than us, so we are usually aware that we will inevitably let go of them. But no one prepares you for the day you are just walking along, minding your own business, and you see something that reminds you or your dad or your grandma, and WHAM! it hits you that you will never again be able to have a two-sided conversation with them, never again get to hug them, never again get to just jump in the car and go see them...


Then, invariably, there are people we did not expect to have to let go of...our spouses, our friends, a person we never even dreamed we would lose out of our lives...


And here is something that I could not have in a million years guessed would have been on this list: one of the most difficult years Larry and I ever had was the year when we lost or were put in a position to have to change (for various reasons--and not because we, ourselves moved away), our financial advisor, our accountant, our bank, our primary dentist, our primary doctors, our eye doctor, and our primary pharmacy! THAT was a very traumatic year for us!


After Daddy died, I helped Mom get a handle on her house and worldly goods. He had been sick for so long that she barely had it in her to get through a day, much less keep up with things around the house. We spent six months going through and cleaning everything from one end of the house to the other, and then another six months going through the sheds. Time and time again she would say to me, "I'm just not ready to part with that". At first this really irritated me. But then, I got to realizing that most of the the things we accumulate have memories attached to them and that makes them very difficult to part with.


After cleaning out mom's clutter, I realized that I had my very own clutter in the basement/crawlspace of our house. I also realized that I am not getting any younger and I had better get all that sh--t out of there before I no longer was able to bend over and pull it out. So that has been my ongoing project this past year. My grandson was here this week and we spent a day getting out all the stuff against the back wall, where the space is the tightest. I have been sorting things and getting rid of a lot of it. The rest I have been putting into a storage unit. I am not yet ready to part with so many things...but I am getting used to the idea that someday I will have to let more stuff go...




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