Lately, Facebook has had a bunch of posts about the challenges of being an Overthinker. LOL...as I read each one, I think to myself, "welcome to my world!"
For years, I have been trying to tell people that I have a continual stream of thoughts and stories going on in my head: long-ago memories; what I should/could have said; to-do lists; shopping lists for menus coming up; things to buy or make for Christmas; what doctors appointments or prescriptions are coming up; ideas that come to me of things to make or accomplish or...or...or... You get the idea. It is never ending.
Amazingly enough, I sleep really, really well, almost all the time. Once in a blue moon, I wake up at 5am, my head turns on, and I realize it is futile to try to go back to sleep, so I get up and get going. I attribute this ability to sleep well to the fact that I have pretty much covered all the thoughts that need thinking for the upcoming future, and my brain allows me to turn off. --Hey! It's as good a theory as any other!
Overthinking usually covers one's ass for all the unknown variables of life, but it does have plenty of downsides...
The worst downside of all being that I really have trouble listening to or joining in with "banter", aka small-talk. Chatting has two downsides for me: 1- I find what is going on in my head more interesting or important than the chatter. 2- Oftentimes, chatter just gives me more subject matter to worry or think about! Hell--I have WAYYY too much in there already!
Of course, I realize that banter, chatting, and small-talk are important social skills (which I am sadly lacking in). In my 40s, I learned to use conversational skills in an office setting...mostly because I worked in a small dental office and I was oftentimes left with a patient's family member who hoped to be entertained while the patient was in the chair. However, that was at work and it was like an on/off switch.
In order to roll this skill over into a social setting, I found that drinking helped immensely....not a lot, mind you. But one good strong drink, and I become the life of the party--hopefully, not too outrageous, mind you--just funny and entertaining. Enough so that, when someone in Larry's golf group invites him to a party, they oftentimes ask, "Terri will be coming, right?"
A few months ago, my sister came for a weekend visit with Mom. My dear mama enjoys Toni (who was born with more social skills than I will ever have) so very much. (See all of the above for reasons why hanging out with me is not particularly enjoyable!) At some point, we got onto this whole subject of why I have a hard time with banter. A few days later, she sent me this:
It sums things up Perfectly!
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