My Daddy

We lost Daddy four years ago today. This is not at all what he looked like the last year he was here with us, but it is how I always want to remember him--happy and funny.

Relationships with a parent that we do not and cannot ever understand can be difficult at best. Daddy was that and more. Even as a very small child, I always wanted to please him, and never felt able to do so. I needn't go into details...if you have a difficult relationship with one of your parents, you totally get it. If you do not, there is no reason to explain how hard my childhood was for me.

Ironically, as fate would have it, when Mama and Daddy retired, they moved to the same town I live in and, as they aged, I became more and more in charge of their care. There was even a period of time during his last year with us that Daddy did not know anyone except me!

Growing up with him was misery.

Coming home to visit always had its miserable moments.

Watching him make Mama miserable for years made me miserable.

Watching him make terrible choices about his health as he aged made me miserable.

Watching him his final year slowly lose his mind made me miserable.

And the day he passed away, a little part of me died forever.

He was my Daddy, and I have no doubt he loved me. I know I loved him.

A few weeks ago, I was standing by my desk, not doing anything memorable, when a wave of sadness washed over me and I was suddenly missing him so very much. It just sneaks up on you. Whoosh...no matter how miserable I was around him, at times I miss him so!

Homemade Cranberry Sauce

From my first memories of Thanksgiving and Christmas, through my 12th year, Mama always made turkey and stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, and pumpkin pies for both holidays. (after that, we moved to Latin America.) There is nothing as wonderful as Mama's dressing that she stuffed into the turkey. It absorbed all that wonderful turkey juice and flavor...oh my!

Back in the 1960s, cranberry sauce came in a can.. Period.. I do not remember ever seeing a bag of cranberries until I was in my 20s and back here in the States. And in the '60s, canned cranberry sauce was either jellied or whole cranberries. It was pretty simple for me to decided that the jellied sauce was wonderful and the whole berry sauce was "yucky"! And...being me...I stood by my decision for years. I did not like whole cranberry sauce. No matter that Mama made it from scratch. No matter that there were all sorts of variations of the recipe running around. I like jellied cranberry sauce!

Then, one fateful Thanksgiving Day, about 4 years ago, I failed to remember to bring the jellied cranberry sauce to dinner! And there was Mom's wonderful dressing needing to be eaten. I had no choice but to have some of her homemade whole-berry sauce with it...and to my amazement...I LOVED it! LOL...go figure!

That Christmas, I made sure I was at her house when she made her cranberry sauce...more amazement as I saw how very simple it is to make. The directions are on the bag of berries. You follow them. The berries take care of the rest, as they sauce up so beautifully after cooing down. Now I make sure we always have a few jars in the freezer. It goes so well with not only turkey, but also roasted chicken and pork. I highly recommend it! LOLOLOL!

Christmas Cocoa

Ever since my grandchildren were very small, we have had Christmas Day at our house. (They live about an hour away.) So they get up, as all children have over the years, and open their presents at home, play with them, work up and appetite, and head down the valley to our house.

Meanwhile, I am bustling about the kitchen, putting treats out on the table, baking a breakfast pastry of some sort, and making hot Mexican Cocoa. Now, every time I smell this cooking, I think wonderful Christmas thoughts!

If you are not familiar with Cocoa in this form, let me enlighten you. This comes particular brand comes in 6 blocks. It is identical to the cocoa I grew up with in Mexico and Central America, just a different brand. Each block is wrapped in paper. Down south, they do not usually add milk or cream...you were just served a luscious, chocolaty hot drink, rather thick and a bit grainy. This is how I like to make it:

Pour about 6 cups of hot water into a heavy 2 quart pot. Add 3 blocks of Mexican chocolate, 3 sticks of cinnamon, and (if available) one vanilla pod, cut lengthwise. On low/medium heat (watch it because it tends to boil over!) bring to a simmer and continue to barely simmer for at least an hour. Then add about 2 cups half and half and as much milk as you wish to make it chocolaty enough for your tastes. Turn it down to the lowest level your stove allows...you do not want it to boil! Yumm!...