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Happy Birthday to me!

Updated: Nov 22, 2023

It's my birthday today, so I get to say what I want. Needless to say, that will invariably consist of cussing, so if that offends you, skip this!


Now, I am a pretty straightforward, person. I know what I like and what I think about everything I have ever encountered...perhaps not immediately, but within a very short time of encountering something unknown to me. Given new information, with time, I happily change my mind (no matter what anyone may tell you) --although it certainly must make sense! Most people know or suspect this about me. I get asked direct questions all of the time. But in addition to being very straightforward, I am also very private. I long to say, "None of your god-damned business!"....But I do not. I say things like, "Well...I'm not sure how I feel about that", or, "Well, there are various ways of looking at that", or I just change the subject to something much more likely to be of interest than the subject of Me.


There is very little that pisses me off more than my asking someone what they want, "What do you want for dinner? Where do you want to go? What sheets do you want to put on the bed? Who do you want to invite?".....Straightforward, simple questions....and not getting a straight answer. How hard can it be? Well, from what I encounter, it is somewhat impossible for most people I know to be able to say what they want when asked. Is it because they are afraid I will disapprove of what they want? Is it because their life is so full of stress that they want me to make their decisions for them? Is it because they don't give a damn? Under almost all circumstances, I have no answer to this. And it pisses me off! How can a grown person not know what they want? I tell you what--ask a two year old! Trust me-- they will tell you what they want!


But when I ask somebody what they want, and they answer, "I don't care...whatever you want", let me just answer, this one time, on my birthday, just for you wishy-washy people, who do not seem to know me after all these years...this is what I FUCKING WANT!!!...


I want a to be sitting in a cushy chaise lounge, on a fucking tropical beach, hearing nothing but the soft sound of waves lapping on the shore. About once an hour, I want a dark, handsome 30-ish year old man, wearing only a pair of low-slung dungarees, rolled up at the ankles, to appear out of nowhere and walk towards me. Once he is very near, looking me straight in the eyes with his limpid brown eyes, I want him to bend and whisper so only I hear, "Another Margarita, mi Reina?"


And that, my darlings, is whatever I Fucking Want!!!


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